Now What?

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Regarding Relationships…

I had started my journey as a Mom at 18. And have had 2 long term relationships. This year I realized I let myself slip away. I have no clue who the hell it is that I am. Is it too late to figure it out? Isn’t this something that at my age should already be established? Ughhhhhh I get a headache just thinking about it. I keep telling myself that I just want to live.. See the world get pissy drunk for once and forget my problems. Do something adventurous and stop being the Mom friend when I go out. Yes I’m that friend.

How though? How does one loosen up? I don’t have time to figure this out. I have a job, bills and kids. Screw fun. So I’m single, at this point I realized that I haven’t dated a lot. By that I mean meeting a guy him asking me on an actual date. My skills included customer service, cooking, homework for a 4th and 5th grader on a nightly basis and the true talent of picking out the best chick flicks. How would I date or figure out what it was that I needed in a relationship, did I even want a new one? Was it too soon?

I’m totally unaware of what it is that I want in a man. Is there a way to find out. Will there be a sign from god that’ll slap me in the back of my head and say “THAT’S HIM”? I’m in no shape or form in rushing this process, but I am curious. When will I know that I am ready?

Regarding a Career…

A lot of single moms have the dilemma of job versus career. We keep jobs because we’re the primary support for our families. Around 50% of us HATE these jobs, but we do them. As a former employee of a major grocery store I’ve learned the ins and outs of how its ran. Its similar to a scam. Minimum pay, no benefits and minimum hours.. Why because we as parents will take anything to support our families. But at what cost mental health, stress, bad backs and countless hours away from kids and home. I did this for 3 years,  I ended up having to work multiple jobs. But held on because of loyalty, I felt like my time was coming that this company would appreciate my hard work. It never came.

I cried for years as I seen coworkers advance ahead of me, while I worked my behind off. Way above my pay grade. I know I’m ranting, I’m trying to make a point. As a parent when is it OK to give up? Are we allowed to follow a dream career or are we just stuck? I quit that job by the way.

sibling fight.jpg

Regarding Kids…

I think as my kids have gotten older they have gotten more evil. Mothering them has become a lot harder. I can remember back when they were the sweetest being’s ever. Their smiles brightened my day. Now my house is like World War III, literally like bombs going off. I yell and discipline them when they fight but it seems to get worse. Sibling rivalry is a natural thing, right? I don’t have siblings so I wouldn’t know. Leave a comment below if you have siblings and you use to fight and drive your parents crazy. OR If you have any recommendations on how diffuse the situation. 




1 comments on “Now What?”

  1. Me and my sister use to fight all the time when we were younger
    Sibling rivalry is common.
    Me and sister are very close now
    When your kids become closer I think they will be very close

    I wish u luck


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